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Out of the Ashes: U of D Student Impact

Out of The Ashes - Sunday, January 07, 2018

University of Delaware Student Impact: How Out of the Ashes Touched Our Class.

November 2017

Coley Harris and Ahmarr Melton presented to the Dr. Ann Aviles's students in her Family Studies and Human Development class. The students responded with a warm video impact statement. We are thankful for your support.

Come out and witness this powerful presentation on January 18, 2017 at Stubbs Elementary School


Making Fatherhood Popular

Out of The Ashes - Thursday, November 17, 2016

This post came from a mission that I have which is changing the world through making fatherhood popular. I think a lot of people don't fully understand the importance of this role and take it for granted. I want to use Out of The Ashes as a platform to increase awareness and change the dialogue around the topic.

September 28th, 2016

Out of The Ashes - Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Just Grateful

Out of The Ashes - Friday, September 16, 2016

Top 5 Things That New Dads Get Wrong!

Out of The Ashes - Monday, September 12, 2016

Being a Dad is not for the faint at heart. Your children will test your grit. Our children are masters at pushing buttons and pulling on heart strings. Many parents learn how to put on that tough skin and weather the storm of a teenager, but what about the new parent?  Here are a few tips for the new parent, whether it be through a blended family, first child or re-entering your child's life.

These 5 easy tips will put you light years ahead.
  1. Don't try to be your child's friend. I know we want to hear all of their little secrets and walk them through the pains of life, but a healthy separation will keep the relationship in perspective. After all, does a friend tell a child that they are grounded?
  2. Give a child structure. Even with attempting to allow our children to express their autonomy we must still give them some structure, a foundation from whence to spread their wings.
  3. Share some of your short comings. It is ok to be imperfect. Sharing a failure will allow for children learn from our lessons and not be afraid to take healthy risk.  
  4. Be compassionate. Just because you are the DAD does not mean you have to be iron. Children look for security and nurturing from both parents.
  5. Lead by example. The do as I say not as I do days are gone. The entire world is going to form an opinion about us by what they see, why would our children be any different.

I hope that these tips have proven to be helpful. Let's stay in touch. Please share some of your cool parenting tips and experiences on our page. Thanks. 

Beauty in the struggle

Out of The Ashes - Sunday, September 04, 2016

I can remember walking home, to my cousin/brother's house in WIlmington, Delaware at 11pm from 8th street to 38th street. I had to be back to work by 7am. I was never late. I can remember asking people to allow for me to volunteer at their youth programs, so that I could get into the field where I was passionate. They blew me off, lied to me and spun me.Then Mike Barbieri gave me a shot!

I love this process! I love the growth through the struggle. It took spiritual enlightenment to for me to understand that the gatekeepers knew not what they did by trying to keep the message from the people. It was yet another piece of the "master plan unfurling before my eyes, manifest and real."

Thank the Most High for this journey as we move forward. As I left my son this morning after our walk I experienced a familiar feeling. It is a cataclysmic mental shift that takes place before the breakthrough. Oh yes, a familiar feeling. I often tell our children on the inside to shift that energy and do not allow yourself to be denied ANYTHING ON GOD'S CREATION of the good.

Did I tell you that I love the struggle?

Be firm, be consistent, be present

Out of The Ashes - Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Children have a knack for doing some of the most confounding things. Some days you pour out all of your wisdom from
decades of successes and failures only to have them totally disregard everything you said. IT HURTS!

We want to be able to guide our children and make their decisions for them at times. How did that work for us when
we were teenagers and young adults.

We can only guide and stick to our principles and proven practices.
We can only be the same person day in and day out, unwavering in our support (however that may look).
Most importantly we must be present in our child's life. Even as they get older they will still turn to you and your voice should be there.

The light in their eyes.

Out of The Ashes - Saturday, August 13, 2016
I had an opportunity to enjoy one of life's simple pleasures. Watching my grandchildren play.
My middle grandson is turning 4 tomorrow. See if him and his siblings play and enjoy the love of their parents warms my heart.

Children do better when they have both children in their life. Even if a parent is outside of the home children
do better academically and emotionally when they have the support of mother and father.

Sometimes it hurts and it can be challenging, but we have to keep the real goal in mind.
The light I see in my grandchildren's' eyes is the same light that guides a human vessel throughout lifes storms.
Make sure you do your all to ensure the light shines bright in them all.

"One for the home team"

Out of The Ashes - Thursday, August 11, 2016
I just want to send a shout out to the young men in my community who are stepping up to make a difference. Over the last few months we have been working hard to promote life and peace. Our sons are listening. Salute!

"They told me to be his friend, but I did not listen"

Out of The Ashes - Friday, July 29, 2016

When I first came home a lot of people told me to be my son's friend. I didn't listen to them. I knew that in that critical stage of my son's life that he needed his father.

​Unfortunately a lot of parents are making the mistake of trying to be their children's friends. Our are children our children look for guidance and structure from us. They do not look for the type of guidance and acceptance that they that they seek from their friends. Our children need for a level of support that surpasses friendship. They do not respect a parent who is more concerned with friendship than parenting. The contempt is forthcoming. 

​Ahmarr and I have grown our relationship under the most unlikely of circumstances. I think the uniqueness of our situation has made our relationship stronger. We continue to grow and to learn from one another. Even with coming in to his life in earnest at such a late point, there were/are still many lessons that I can teach him.  I am so thankful that we had the courage to make an attempt. I can not imagine how life would have been without him in my life. 

​Yes, they told me to be his friend at first.......But I did not listen.

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